From neale at nealemorison.com Wed Jan 9 15:57:30 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Tue, 08 Jan 2008 23:57:30 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Thank You Mr Faulkner Message-ID: <4784543A.8010308@nealemorison.com> Hi all. I read "The Sound and the Fury" recently, on a recommendation from Joe and Chris who said it was even more confusing than some of the stories we had in writing class. Attached is a response. Happy New Year! Neale -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 -------------- next part -------------- A non-text attachment was scrubbed... Name: ThankYouMrFaulkner.pdf Type: application/pdf Size: 83624 bytes Desc: not available Url : http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080108/80e812e8/attachment-0001.pdf From cjrobi at MIT.EDU Thu Jan 10 14:44:05 2008 From: cjrobi at MIT.EDU (Christopher Robichaud) Date: Wed, 9 Jan 2008 22:44:05 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Thank You Mr Faulkner In-Reply-To: <4784543A.8010308@nealemorison.com> References: <4784543A.8010308@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <002301c8533b$0d081af0$0d00a8c0@cjrobichaud> So you really liked it! :) -----Original Message----- From: writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com [mailto:writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com] On Behalf Of Neale Morison Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 11:58 PM To: writingworkshop at nealemorison.com Subject: [Writingworkshop] Thank You Mr Faulkner Hi all. I read "The Sound and the Fury" recently, on a recommendation from Joe and Chris who said it was even more confusing than some of the stories we had in writing class. Attached is a response. Happy New Year! Neale -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From nmorison at MIT.EDU Thu Jan 10 21:22:50 2008 From: nmorison at MIT.EDU (Neale Morison) Date: Thu, 10 Jan 2008 05:22:50 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Thank You Mr Faulkner In-Reply-To: <002301c8533b$0d081af0$0d00a8c0@cjrobichaud> References: <4784543A.8010308@nealemorison.com> <002301c8533b$0d081af0$0d00a8c0@cjrobichaud> Message-ID: <4785F1FA.80908@mit.edu> I thought it was stunning. Haven't stopped thinking about it since. But the overt obfuscation awakened the prissy PC editorial voice in me. Christopher Robichaud wrote: > So you really liked it! :) > > -----Original Message----- > From: writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com > [mailto:writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com] On Behalf Of Neale Morison > Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 11:58 PM > To: writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > Subject: [Writingworkshop] Thank You Mr Faulkner > > Hi all. I read "The Sound and the Fury" recently, on a recommendation > from Joe and Chris who said it was even more confusing than some of the > stories we had in writing class. Attached is a response. > Happy New Year! > Neale > > From neale at nealemorison.com Thu Jan 17 16:15:11 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2008 00:15:11 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Sonnets Message-ID: <478EE45F.80901@nealemorison.com> Hi all. I'm having a go at the odd sonnet to see if it helps. The rule is I have to finish it in a day, preferably in an hour or so. It's mainly for technique but also for amusement.Haikus and limericks also welcome. Neale 15/01/2008 21:37 Snow Day At dawn we found it falling, fine and white, The radiators hiss to keep us warm, My girls have friends to join them in their plight, While school is shuttered, weathering the storm, With heated cries we hear the playground sing, They print the snow with dancing, shifting tracks, They scoop and mould and breathlessly they fling, It's in their ears and down their necks and backs, They troop upstairs with dripping, muddy feet, They make our kitchen seem a trifle small, They show us how a pack of girls can eat, And leave a wreckage like a sudden squall, Tomorrow we accept the hand we're dealt, No drift so deep and cold it cannot melt. Sonnet for Mother's 84th Birthday, 21 January 2008 Some icons tend to tarnish, like Theresa, A Mother, yes, but not much of a breeder, While Hillary campaigns to be the leader, And nothing but her husband seems to faze her, Celebrities compete collecting orphans, But family cohesiveness defeats them, For sporting stars, a record run completes them, Alas with hormones other than endorphins, Young Jeanne d'Arc bestirred a beaten nation, And introduced the barbecue to France, Marie Curie discovered radiation, Won two Nobels but couldn't find romance, Accomplishment is common, what's the fuss? But unique the woman who accomplished us. -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From danieltpeters at gmail.com Fri Jan 18 18:30:26 2008 From: danieltpeters at gmail.com (Daniel Peters) Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2008 01:30:26 -0600 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Sonnets In-Reply-To: <478EE45F.80901@nealemorison.com> References: <478EE45F.80901@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <9c8415cd0801172330xc20decak2de7ca409a6d9b6d@mail.gmail.com> The one for your mother is AWESOME!! "a record run completes them". I like this practicing in different forms, I have always tried it for prose but never poetry. I've neevr been close enough to the sonnet for it to entice me, probably all the more reason to try it for practice. I'll throw some of my practice poetry up in a minute. On 1/16/08, Neale Morison wrote: > Hi all. > I'm having a go at the odd sonnet to see if it helps. The rule is I have > to finish it in a day, preferably in an hour or so. It's mainly for > technique but also for amusement.Haikus and limericks also welcome. > Neale > > 15/01/2008 21:37 > Snow Day > > At dawn we found it falling, fine and white, > The radiators hiss to keep us warm, > My girls have friends to join them in their plight, > While school is shuttered, weathering the storm, > With heated cries we hear the playground sing, > They print the snow with dancing, shifting tracks, > They scoop and mould and breathlessly they fling, > It's in their ears and down their necks and backs, > They troop upstairs with dripping, muddy feet, > They make our kitchen seem a trifle small, > They show us how a pack of girls can eat, > And leave a wreckage like a sudden squall, > Tomorrow we accept the hand we're dealt, > No drift so deep and cold it cannot melt. > > > Sonnet for Mother's 84th Birthday, 21 January 2008 > > Some icons tend to tarnish, like Theresa, > A Mother, yes, but not much of a breeder, > While Hillary campaigns to be the leader, > And nothing but her husband seems to faze her, > Celebrities compete collecting orphans, > But family cohesiveness defeats them, > For sporting stars, a record run completes them, > Alas with hormones other than endorphins, > Young Jeanne d'Arc bestirred a beaten nation, > And introduced the barbecue to France, > Marie Curie discovered radiation, > Won two Nobels but couldn't find romance, > Accomplishment is common, what's the fuss? > But unique the woman who accomplished us. > > > > > > > > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > From and at MIT.EDU Sat Jan 19 13:58:47 2008 From: and at MIT.EDU (Antony Nigel Donovan) Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2008 21:58:47 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Thank You Mr Faulkner In-Reply-To: <4785F1FA.80908@mit.edu> References: <4784543A.8010308@nealemorison.com> <002301c8533b$0d081af0$0d00a8c0@cjrobichaud> <4785F1FA.80908@mit.edu> Message-ID: <1200711527.6007.7.camel@dasein> I haven't read your response mostly because I don't think I've ever read "The Sound and the Fury." It's at my local library and I intend to pick it up next week. For all who have read it, do you think it would work as an audio book? I've been commuting to Natick and so I have and hour plus each day I'd like to make productive. Antony On Thu, 2008-01-10 at 05:22 -0500, Neale Morison wrote: > I thought it was stunning. Haven't stopped thinking about it since. But > the overt obfuscation awakened the prissy PC editorial voice in me. > > Christopher Robichaud wrote: > > So you really liked it! :) > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com > > [mailto:writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com] On Behalf Of Neale Morison > > Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 11:58 PM > > To: writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > Subject: [Writingworkshop] Thank You Mr Faulkner > > > > Hi all. I read "The Sound and the Fury" recently, on a recommendation > > from Joe and Chris who said it was even more confusing than some of the > > stories we had in writing class. Attached is a response. > > Happy New Year! > > Neale > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com From neale at nealemorison.com Sat Jan 19 14:10:01 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2008 22:10:01 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Thank You Mr Faulkner In-Reply-To: <1200711527.6007.7.camel@dasein> References: <4784543A.8010308@nealemorison.com> <002301c8533b$0d081af0$0d00a8c0@cjrobichaud> <4785F1FA.80908@mit.edu> <1200711527.6007.7.camel@dasein> Message-ID: <47916A09.9050405@nealemorison.com> It might work as an audio book. The temptation to try to figure out what is going on by rereading sections would be avoided. It would be interesting to hear how an actor reads Benjy's bit. I might try the library for one myself. I suppose my response does contain spoilers. But I have no idea who dun it. Or what they dun. Neale Antony Nigel Donovan wrote: > I haven't read your response mostly because I don't think I've ever read > "The Sound and the Fury." It's at my local library and I intend to pick > it up next week. For all who have read it, do you think it would work > as an audio book? I've been commuting to Natick and so I have and hour > plus each day I'd like to make productive. > > Antony > > On Thu, 2008-01-10 at 05:22 -0500, Neale Morison wrote: > >> I thought it was stunning. Haven't stopped thinking about it since. But >> the overt obfuscation awakened the prissy PC editorial voice in me. >> >> Christopher Robichaud wrote: >> >>> So you really liked it! :) >>> >>> -----Original Message----- >>> From: writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com >>> [mailto:writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com] On Behalf Of Neale Morison >>> Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2008 11:58 PM >>> To: writingworkshop at nealemorison.com >>> Subject: [Writingworkshop] Thank You Mr Faulkner >>> >>> Hi all. I read "The Sound and the Fury" recently, on a recommendation >>> from Joe and Chris who said it was even more confusing than some of the >>> stories we had in writing class. Attached is a response. >>> Happy New Year! >>> Neale >>> >>> >>> >> _______________________________________________ >> Writingworkshop mailing list >> Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com >> http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com >> > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From neale at nealemorison.com Sat Jan 26 03:09:08 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Fri, 25 Jan 2008 11:09:08 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Uncomfortablists Draft 4 Message-ID: <479A09A4.20001@nealemorison.com> Hi all. Here is draft 4 of The Uncomfortablists. The main file is TheUncomfortablistsd4.pdf. This contains changes to Chapters 1 and 2, based on Antony's and Daniel's comments and my whim, and new Chapters 3 and 4. I have taken the Synopsis and other supporting material out of the main file and included that separately as TheUncomfortablistsSynopsisD4.pdf. There are a few changes to this. It's arranged chapter by chapter and there's more detail. Not everything is worked out in the later chapters, but I'm coming closer to knowing how to proceed. It's looking like about 12 Chapters of an average of 2500 words each, making 30,000 words, plus some interludes, about 10,000 words, a grand total of 40,000. It might blow out longer if I keep on adding stuff without resolving anything. I'm planning on a slim novel at the most. Antony raised the issue of how to record changes between drafts, and the other files are to address that requirement. The Uncomfortablistsd4Changes.pdf is produced by OpenOffice Writer with changes recorded and shown. Additions are in blue and changes are in red. This is awkward to read so I have also included plain text of draft 2 and draft 4. You can do a text diff on these to see the changes. Questions: Is it too terse, or too detailed. Is it moving fast enough? Can you see gaps anywhere, in plot, description, characterization, and describe what it is I'm missing? Have I missed any syntactical variations on usage of the word fuck? I want to read your stuff too. Please send some. All the best, Neale -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 -------------- next part -------------- An embedded and charset-unspecified text was scrubbed... Name: TheUncomfortablistsd2.txt Url: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080125/fa6c8ec4/attachment-0002.txt -------------- next part -------------- A non-text attachment was scrubbed... Name: TheUncomfortablistsd4.pdf Type: application/pdf Size: 102482 bytes Desc: not available Url : http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080125/fa6c8ec4/attachment-0003.pdf -------------- next part -------------- An embedded and charset-unspecified text was scrubbed... Name: TheUncomfortablistsd4.txt Url: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080125/fa6c8ec4/attachment-0003.txt -------------- next part -------------- A non-text attachment was scrubbed... Name: TheUncomfortablistsd4Changes.pdf Type: application/pdf Size: 178714 bytes Desc: not available Url : http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080125/fa6c8ec4/attachment-0004.pdf -------------- next part -------------- A non-text attachment was scrubbed... Name: TheUncomfortablistsSynopsisD4.pdf Type: application/pdf Size: 44300 bytes Desc: not available Url : http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080125/fa6c8ec4/attachment-0005.pdf From nmorison at MIT.EDU Sat Jan 26 04:02:53 2008 From: nmorison at MIT.EDU (Neale Morison) Date: Fri, 25 Jan 2008 12:02:53 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Writing for Nerds Message-ID: <479A163D.6060206@mit.edu> Writing ideas, suitable for energetic debate. I started to make notes about things I was seeing in the readings for Joe's writing class, and it all got tied in with the other classes I was auditing and started looking very nerdy. Most of these thoughts are serious suggestions for points I do think about when I'm writing, but some of them are just there for nerd value. Please add other thoughts, nerdy or otherwise. All the best, Neale -------------- next part -------------- A non-text attachment was scrubbed... Name: WritingForNerdsDraft1.pdf Type: application/pdf Size: 67461 bytes Desc: not available Url : http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080125/8906c1ce/attachment-0001.pdf From adam.holland at gmail.com Sat Jan 26 04:11:14 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Fri, 25 Jan 2008 12:11:14 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Writing for Nerds In-Reply-To: <479A163D.6060206@mit.edu> References: <479A163D.6060206@mit.edu> Message-ID: Wow, Neale, you are a prolific dude! I'm thrilled to be getting all of this workshop stuff, because it motivates me, but I have to say, it is making me feel like a lazy slacker right now, as my appellate brief sucks all of my writing energy out of me. I only think about my novel on my bike. ;) Adam On Jan 25, 2008 12:02 PM, Neale Morison wrote: > Writing ideas, suitable for energetic debate. I started to make notes > about things I was seeing in the readings for Joe's writing class, and > it all got tied in with the other classes I was auditing and started > looking very nerdy. Most of these thoughts are serious suggestions for > points I do think about when I'm writing, but some of them are just > there for nerd value. > Please add other thoughts, nerdy or otherwise. > All the best, > Neale > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080125/d13eb6c4/attachment.html From nmorison at MIT.EDU Sat Jan 26 04:26:16 2008 From: nmorison at MIT.EDU (Neale Morison) Date: Fri, 25 Jan 2008 12:26:16 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Writing for Nerds In-Reply-To: References: <479A163D.6060206@mit.edu> Message-ID: <479A1BB8.2090205@mit.edu> Hi Adam, I craigslisted myself one of them sansa flash memory ipod clone widgets, with a voice recorder feature. I'm going to try biking the minuteman trail today, strap it to my arm and see if my musings can be heard above the wind of my breakneck progress. Who knows, maybe it's possible to dicate a novel from the bike. I'm alone while my wife is on a field trip, kids at school and semester not yet started, and I'm managing to get a little writing done. When I go back to Australia and work in June I don't know if I'll be able to do it, so I'm trying to do it now. This sabbatical year has a real live for today quality about it. Best, Neale Adam Holland wrote: > Wow, Neale, you are a prolific dude! > > I'm thrilled to be getting all of this workshop stuff, because it > motivates me, but I have to say, it is making me feel like a lazy > slacker right now, as my appellate brief sucks all of my writing > energy out of me. > I only think about my novel on my bike. ;) > > > Adam > > On Jan 25, 2008 12:02 PM, Neale Morison > wrote: > > Writing ideas, suitable for energetic debate. I started to make notes > about things I was seeing in the readings for Joe's writing class, and > it all got tied in with the other classes I was auditing and started > looking very nerdy. Most of these thoughts are serious suggestions for > points I do think about when I'm writing, but some of them are just > there for nerd value. > Please add other thoughts, nerdy or otherwise. > All the best, > Neale > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > -- > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > From adam.holland at gmail.com Sat Jan 26 04:46:48 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Fri, 25 Jan 2008 12:46:48 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Writing for Nerds In-Reply-To: <479A1BB8.2090205@mit.edu> References: <479A163D.6060206@mit.edu> <479A1BB8.2090205@mit.edu> Message-ID: Now *that* is an outstanding idea. Let me know how it works out, because I would totally give that a try. I feel like I have a lot of ideas when I am riding, but I am usually riding to get somewhere, and so the old standby "carry a notebook everywhere and write your thoughts down" just isn't going to fly, unless I want to be stopping every 2 minutes. and of course, remembering it until i get a chance to write it down isn't going t work either, since as soon as I arrive, I'm busy. Jewel in the Lotus all the way! On Jan 25, 2008 12:26 PM, Neale Morison wrote: > Hi Adam, > I craigslisted myself one of them sansa flash memory ipod clone widgets, > with a voice recorder feature. I'm going to try biking the minuteman > trail today, strap it to my arm and see if my musings can be heard above > the wind of my breakneck progress. Who knows, maybe it's possible to > dicate a novel from the bike. > > I'm alone while my wife is on a field trip, kids at school and semester > not yet started, and I'm managing to get a little writing done. When I > go back to Australia and work in June I don't know if I'll be able to do > it, so I'm trying to do it now. This sabbatical year has a real live for > today quality about it. > Best, > Neale > > Adam Holland wrote: > > Wow, Neale, you are a prolific dude! > > > > I'm thrilled to be getting all of this workshop stuff, because it > > motivates me, but I have to say, it is making me feel like a lazy > > slacker right now, as my appellate brief sucks all of my writing > > energy out of me. > > I only think about my novel on my bike. ;) > > > > > > Adam > > > > On Jan 25, 2008 12:02 PM, Neale Morison > > wrote: > > > > Writing ideas, suitable for energetic debate. I started to make > notes > > about things I was seeing in the readings for Joe's writing class, > and > > it all got tied in with the other classes I was auditing and started > > looking very nerdy. Most of these thoughts are serious suggestions > for > > points I do think about when I'm writing, but some of them are just > > there for nerd value. > > Please add other thoughts, nerdy or otherwise. > > All the best, > > Neale > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Writingworkshop mailing list > > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > > > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > > > > > > -- > > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Writingworkshop mailing list > > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080125/7fac2703/attachment.html From neale at nealemorison.com Sun Jan 27 03:53:08 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 11:53:08 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Sondheim Sonnet Message-ID: <479B6574.1080007@nealemorison.com> 26/01/2008 09:35 Sondheim Sonnet When first we met you zapped me with your eyes, Without a word you told me something new, About how one and one approaches two, I don't know why it came as a surprise. The moment passed, as moments often do, The timing wasn't right, our stars were crossed, And so the opportunity was lost, The zap did not return from me to you. The temperature drops, a final frost, Extremities abandoned by the heart, I'd use them, but it seems too late to start, No confidence it justifies the cost. And as my vision fades will cease to rise Those singular reflections in your eyes. -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From adam.holland at gmail.com Sun Jan 27 04:41:16 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 12:41:16 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] A Fritz Leiber inspired sestina Message-ID: Neale's inspiring prolificness made me feel like I should post something, even though I wrote it a while ago. :) If any of you are Fritz Leiber fans, (and if you're not, you should be!) you may remember a longer story of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser titled "Th Lords of Quarmall" that Leiber write with Fischer. Anyway, in that story, the Mouser is described as being "dressed all in gray, like Death's younger brother". I always found that to be a really resonant image, and wanted to do something with it. I loved the idea of Death having siblings, especially a younger brother. I imagined him desperately wanting to be like big brother Death, but never able to get the same level of approval, whether from parents, or the world, or what. Classic teen angst, except that it would be, you know, *Death's* younger brother. :) That seemed like rich territory to mine, but I couldn't make it work as a short story. Maybe some day. So I figured I try some poetry -- imagery rich, but shorter. Disclosure: I am not a huge fan of poetry in general, and certainly don;t write it on a regular basis. I like the idea of doing something constrained by structure, so I essayed a sestina. Here it is. Adam -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" "Hired Steel For the Lord of Quarmall" Ever since I can remember, my heart has been black Racked with hatred for the first object of my parent's love. He was firstborn, marvelous offspring, my perfect brother Their love, cataclysmic, unlooked for, gave him life There, in the beginning, when time' s dawn was still gray. Gave him pride of place, then when he grew, responsibility. My father, wild and unpredictable, could not conceive of responsibility Yet ultimately lays claim to all things, resorbing them to fuligin black Imagine his surprise when my mother's light turned his darkness gray Maybe opposites attracted, maybe there was no one else to love However they came to fuse, their violent union created life Cruel irony, then, that their eldest progeny was my brother All my life, I have had to live in the shadow of my brother As soon as he appeared, he assumed--nay, usurped!--responsibility Was given, or took, the final prerogative, held in his cold hands our life. He takes after our father, and so over every other color chose black I, born later--an accident?--strive so hard to earn my parent's' love Their feelings for him unequivocal, for me, changing shades of gray By my arrival, my parents' black and white had become muted gray For so long, I was still am) afraid, and jealous, of my brother I don't know if what he feels towards me is (could it be?) love I do know that I've always craved my own fell responsibility But when I first tried to carve my niche, my despair was black He'd already established jurisdiction over what mattered in life I took for my own, therefore, the middle, not the end, of life. Became the one who seeks to make things bleak and gray. There are more colors in pain's spectrum than the finality of black. Even there, though, I feel I'm a lesser shadow of my brother. Despite my best efforts, he retains the... *ultimate* responsibility. In dire straits, some are ripped from my grasp and given to him, out of love. I suppose I too, am ultimately motivated by a desire for love. It is with reaction, instead of creation, that I have defined my life. I dream of importance, of one day wielding genuine responsibility. Alas, that will not come until after all is old and gray. I would assume his role, by inheritance, if something befell my brother But he'll meet no assailant darker than his own black. I long for my own responsibility, am desperate for my parents' love But my future seems all black, and so I continue to live my life Two steps behind, dressed all in gray, Death's younger brother. -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080126/d7206b7d/attachment.html From nmorison at MIT.EDU Sun Jan 27 04:59:38 2008 From: nmorison at MIT.EDU (Neale Morison) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 12:59:38 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] A Fritz Leiber inspired sestina In-Reply-To: References: Message-ID: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> Wow! I have to confess I didn't know what a sestina was, but wikipedia came through. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sestina Maybe there are forms with a more complicated set of rules, but I haven't come across them. This is lovely, Adam. Excellent choice of ending words. Death's younger brother is a great premise. There's allegory and myth here. The younger brother's calling is not so much death as despair, which he feels himself and radiates to all. He handles the lesser colors in pain's spectrum. A particularly bleak thought, if I may say so. Thanks for posting this, Neale Adam Holland wrote: > Neale's inspiring prolificness made me feel like I should post > something, even though I wrote it a while ago. :) > > If any of you are Fritz Leiber fans, (and if you're not, you should > be!) you may remember a longer story of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser > titled "Th Lords of Quarmall" that Leiber write with Fischer. > > Anyway, in that story, the Mouser is described as being "dressed all > in gray, like Death's younger brother". > > I always found that to be a really resonant image, and wanted to do > something with it. I loved the idea of Death having siblings, > especially a younger brother. I imagined him desperately wanting to > be like big brother Death, but never able to get the same level of > approval, whether from parents, or the world, or what. Classic teen > angst, except that it would be, you know, /Death's/ younger brother. :) > That seemed like rich territory to mine, but I couldn't make it work > as a short story. Maybe some day. > > So I figured I try some poetry -- imagery rich, but shorter. > Disclosure: I am not a huge fan of poetry in general, and certainly > don;t write it on a regular basis. > > I like the idea of doing something constrained by structure, so I > essayed a sestina. > > Here it is. > > Adam > -- > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > > "Hired Steel For the Lord of Quarmall" > > > Ever since I can remember, my heart has been black > Racked with hatred for the first object of my parent's love. > He was firstborn, marvelous offspring, my perfect brother > Their love, cataclysmic, unlooked for, gave him life > There, in the beginning, when time' s dawn was still gray. > Gave him pride of place, then when he grew, responsibility. > > My father, wild and unpredictable, could not conceive of responsibility > Yet ultimately lays claim to all things, resorbing them to fuligin black > Imagine his surprise when my mother's light turned his darkness gray > Maybe opposites attracted, maybe there was no one else to love > However they came to fuse, their violent union created life > Cruel irony, then, that their eldest progeny was my brother > > All my life, I have had to live in the shadow of my brother > As soon as he appeared, he assumed--nay, usurped!--responsibility > Was given, or took, the final prerogative, held in his cold hands our > life. > He takes after our father, and so over every other color chose black > I, born later--an accident?--strive so hard to earn my parent's' love > Their feelings for him unequivocal, for me, changing shades of gray > > By my arrival, my parents' black and white had become muted gray > For so long, I was still am) afraid, and jealous, of my brother > I don't know if what he feels towards me is (could it be?) love > I do know that I've always craved my own fell responsibility > But when I first tried to carve my niche, my despair was black > He'd already established jurisdiction over what mattered in life > > I took for my own, therefore, the middle, not the end, of life. > Became the one who seeks to make things bleak and gray. > There are more colors in pain's spectrum than the finality of black. > Even there, though, I feel I'm a lesser shadow of my brother. > Despite my best efforts, he retains the... /ultimate/ responsibility. > In dire straits, some are ripped from my grasp and given to him, out > of love. > > I suppose I too, am ultimately motivated by a desire for love. > It is with reaction, instead of creation, that I have defined my life. > I dream of importance, of one day wielding genuine responsibility. > Alas, that will not come until after all is old and gray. > I would assume his role, by inheritance, if something befell my brother > But he'll meet no assailant darker than his own black. > > I long for my own responsibility, am desperate for my parents' love > But my future seems all black, and so I continue to live my life > Two steps behind, dressed all in gray, Death's younger brother. > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > From adam.holland at gmail.com Sun Jan 27 06:55:31 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 14:55:31 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] A Fritz Leiber inspired sestina In-Reply-To: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> References: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> Message-ID: For more complexity, perhaps a villanelle? Or maybe some of these . Thank very much for the kind words. Adam On Jan 26, 2008 12:59 PM, Neale Morison wrote: > Wow! I have to confess I didn't know what a sestina was, but wikipedia > came through. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sestina > Maybe there are forms with a more complicated set of rules, but I > haven't come across them. > This is lovely, Adam. Excellent choice of ending words. Death's younger > brother is a great premise. There's allegory and myth here. The younger > brother's calling is not so much death as despair, which he feels > himself and radiates to all. He handles the lesser colors in pain's > spectrum. A particularly bleak thought, if I may say so. > Thanks for posting this, > Neale > > > Adam Holland wrote: > > Neale's inspiring prolificness made me feel like I should post > > something, even though I wrote it a while ago. :) > > > > If any of you are Fritz Leiber fans, (and if you're not, you should > > be!) you may remember a longer story of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser > > titled "Th Lords of Quarmall" that Leiber write with Fischer. > > > > Anyway, in that story, the Mouser is described as being "dressed all > > in gray, like Death's younger brother". > > > > I always found that to be a really resonant image, and wanted to do > > something with it. I loved the idea of Death having siblings, > > especially a younger brother. I imagined him desperately wanting to > > be like big brother Death, but never able to get the same level of > > approval, whether from parents, or the world, or what. Classic teen > > angst, except that it would be, you know, /Death's/ younger brother. :) > > That seemed like rich territory to mine, but I couldn't make it work > > as a short story. Maybe some day. > > > > So I figured I try some poetry -- imagery rich, but shorter. > > Disclosure: I am not a huge fan of poetry in general, and certainly > > don;t write it on a regular basis. > > > > I like the idea of doing something constrained by structure, so I > > essayed a sestina. > > > > Here it is. > > > > Adam > > -- > > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > > > > "Hired Steel For the Lord of Quarmall" > > > > > > Ever since I can remember, my heart has been black > > Racked with hatred for the first object of my parent's love. > > He was firstborn, marvelous offspring, my perfect brother > > Their love, cataclysmic, unlooked for, gave him life > > There, in the beginning, when time' s dawn was still gray. > > Gave him pride of place, then when he grew, responsibility. > > > > My father, wild and unpredictable, could not conceive of responsibility > > Yet ultimately lays claim to all things, resorbing them to fuligin black > > Imagine his surprise when my mother's light turned his darkness gray > > Maybe opposites attracted, maybe there was no one else to love > > However they came to fuse, their violent union created life > > Cruel irony, then, that their eldest progeny was my brother > > > > All my life, I have had to live in the shadow of my brother > > As soon as he appeared, he assumed--nay, usurped!--responsibility > > Was given, or took, the final prerogative, held in his cold hands our > > life. > > He takes after our father, and so over every other color chose black > > I, born later--an accident?--strive so hard to earn my parent's' love > > Their feelings for him unequivocal, for me, changing shades of gray > > > > By my arrival, my parents' black and white had become muted gray > > For so long, I was still am) afraid, and jealous, of my brother > > I don't know if what he feels towards me is (could it be?) love > > I do know that I've always craved my own fell responsibility > > But when I first tried to carve my niche, my despair was black > > He'd already established jurisdiction over what mattered in life > > > > I took for my own, therefore, the middle, not the end, of life. > > Became the one who seeks to make things bleak and gray. > > There are more colors in pain's spectrum than the finality of black. > > Even there, though, I feel I'm a lesser shadow of my brother. > > Despite my best efforts, he retains the... /ultimate/ responsibility. > > In dire straits, some are ripped from my grasp and given to him, out > > of love. > > > > I suppose I too, am ultimately motivated by a desire for love. > > It is with reaction, instead of creation, that I have defined my life. > > I dream of importance, of one day wielding genuine responsibility. > > Alas, that will not come until after all is old and gray. > > I would assume his role, by inheritance, if something befell my brother > > But he'll meet no assailant darker than his own black. > > > > I long for my own responsibility, am desperate for my parents' love > > But my future seems all black, and so I continue to live my life > > Two steps behind, dressed all in gray, Death's younger brother. > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Writingworkshop mailing list > > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080126/8c50f9be/attachment-0001.html From neale at nealemorison.com Sun Jan 27 11:20:38 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 19:20:38 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] The Challenge of the Villanelle In-Reply-To: References: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> Message-ID: <479BCE56.1050404@nealemorison.com> To meet the challenge of the Villanelle, We make restriction that we may be free, A villainous poetic form from hell. Two rhymes, no more, are needed; just as well, If that were all, how easy it would be, To meet the challenge of the Villanelle. But two refrains, as near as I can tell, Are drawn from tercet one, lines one and three, A villainous poetic form from hell. Five tercets, a quattrain, and there's the bell, The fight is over with a victory, To meet the challenge of the Villanelle. Alas, each tercet, though, you have to sell, With one refrain at its extremity, A villainous poetic form from hell. And then to make the final quattrain gel, You bring back both refrains and claim your fee, To meet the challenge of the Villanelle, A villainous poetic form from hell. Adam Holland wrote: > For more complexity, perhaps a villanelle? > > > Or maybe some of these . > > Thank very much for the kind words. > > Adam > > On Jan 26, 2008 12:59 PM, Neale Morison > wrote: > > Wow! I have to confess I didn't know what a sestina was, but wikipedia > came through. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sestina > Maybe there are forms with a more complicated set of rules, but I > haven't come across them. > This is lovely, Adam. Excellent choice of ending words. Death's > younger > brother is a great premise. There's allegory and myth here. The > younger > brother's calling is not so much death as despair, which he feels > himself and radiates to all. He handles the lesser colors in pain's > spectrum. A particularly bleak thought, if I may say so. > Thanks for posting this, > Neale > > > Adam Holland wrote: > > Neale's inspiring prolificness made me feel like I should post > > something, even though I wrote it a while ago. :) > > > > If any of you are Fritz Leiber fans, (and if you're not, you should > > be!) you may remember a longer story of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser > > titled "Th Lords of Quarmall" that Leiber write with Fischer. > > > > Anyway, in that story, the Mouser is described as being "dressed all > > in gray, like Death's younger brother". > > > > I always found that to be a really resonant image, and wanted to do > > something with it. I loved the idea of Death having siblings, > > especially a younger brother. I imagined him desperately wanting to > > be like big brother Death, but never able to get the same level of > > approval, whether from parents, or the world, or what. Classic teen > > angst, except that it would be, you know, /Death's/ younger > brother. :) > > That seemed like rich territory to mine, but I couldn't make it work > > as a short story. Maybe some day. > > > > So I figured I try some poetry -- imagery rich, but shorter. > > Disclosure: I am not a huge fan of poetry in general, and certainly > > don;t write it on a regular basis. > > > > I like the idea of doing something constrained by structure, so I > > essayed a sestina. > > > > Here it is. > > > > Adam > > -- > > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > > > > "Hired Steel For the Lord of Quarmall" > > > > > > Ever since I can remember, my heart has been black > > Racked with hatred for the first object of my parent's love. > > He was firstborn, marvelous offspring, my perfect brother > > Their love, cataclysmic, unlooked for, gave him life > > There, in the beginning, when time' s dawn was still gray. > > Gave him pride of place, then when he grew, responsibility. > > > > My father, wild and unpredictable, could not conceive of > responsibility > > Yet ultimately lays claim to all things, resorbing them to > fuligin black > > Imagine his surprise when my mother's light turned his darkness gray > > Maybe opposites attracted, maybe there was no one else to love > > However they came to fuse, their violent union created life > > Cruel irony, then, that their eldest progeny was my brother > > > > All my life, I have had to live in the shadow of my brother > > As soon as he appeared, he assumed--nay, usurped!--responsibility > > Was given, or took, the final prerogative, held in his cold > hands our > > life. > > He takes after our father, and so over every other color chose black > > I, born later--an accident?--strive so hard to earn my parent's' > love > > Their feelings for him unequivocal, for me, changing shades of gray > > > > By my arrival, my parents' black and white had become muted gray > > For so long, I was still am) afraid, and jealous, of my brother > > I don't know if what he feels towards me is (could it be?) love > > I do know that I've always craved my own fell responsibility > > But when I first tried to carve my niche, my despair was black > > He'd already established jurisdiction over what mattered in life > > > > I took for my own, therefore, the middle, not the end, of life. > > Became the one who seeks to make things bleak and gray. > > There are more colors in pain's spectrum than the finality of black. > > Even there, though, I feel I'm a lesser shadow of my brother. > > Despite my best efforts, he retains the... /ultimate/ > responsibility. > > In dire straits, some are ripped from my grasp and given to him, out > > of love. > > > > I suppose I too, am ultimately motivated by a desire for love. > > It is with reaction, instead of creation, that I have defined my > life. > > I dream of importance, of one day wielding genuine responsibility. > > Alas, that will not come until after all is old and gray. > > I would assume his role, by inheritance, if something befell my > brother > > But he'll meet no assailant darker than his own black. > > > > I long for my own responsibility, am desperate for my parents' love > > But my future seems all black, and so I continue to live my life > > Two steps behind, dressed all in gray, Death's younger brother. > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Writingworkshop mailing list > > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > -- > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From samweiss at MIT.EDU Sun Jan 27 11:29:54 2008 From: samweiss at MIT.EDU (Samantha Weiss) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 19:29:54 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] The Challenge of the Villanelle In-Reply-To: <479BCE56.1050404@nealemorison.com> References: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> <479BCE56.1050404@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <479BD082.7010907@mit.edu> I must say that I cracked up reading this. Thanks for this, Neale. I share your sentiment. There is no poetry form I hate writing more than the villanelle. > To meet the challenge of the Villanelle, > We make restriction that we may be free, > A villainous poetic form from hell. > > Two rhymes, no more, are needed; just as well, > If that were all, how easy it would be, > To meet the challenge of the Villanelle. > > But two refrains, as near as I can tell, > Are drawn from tercet one, lines one and three, > A villainous poetic form from hell. > > Five tercets, a quattrain, and there's the bell, > The fight is over with a victory, > To meet the challenge of the Villanelle. > > Alas, each tercet, though, you have to sell, > With one refrain at its extremity, > A villainous poetic form from hell. > > And then to make the final quattrain gel, > You bring back both refrains and claim your fee, > To meet the challenge of the Villanelle, > A villainous poetic form from hell. > > > > Adam Holland wrote: > >> For more complexity, perhaps a villanelle? >> >> >> Or maybe some of these . >> >> Thank very much for the kind words. >> >> Adam >> >> On Jan 26, 2008 12:59 PM, Neale Morison > > wrote: >> >> Wow! I have to confess I didn't know what a sestina was, but wikipedia >> came through. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sestina >> Maybe there are forms with a more complicated set of rules, but I >> haven't come across them. >> This is lovely, Adam. Excellent choice of ending words. Death's >> younger >> brother is a great premise. There's allegory and myth here. The >> younger >> brother's calling is not so much death as despair, which he feels >> himself and radiates to all. He handles the lesser colors in pain's >> spectrum. A particularly bleak thought, if I may say so. >> Thanks for posting this, >> Neale >> >> >> Adam Holland wrote: >> > Neale's inspiring prolificness made me feel like I should post >> > something, even though I wrote it a while ago. :) >> > >> > If any of you are Fritz Leiber fans, (and if you're not, you should >> > be!) you may remember a longer story of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser >> > titled "Th Lords of Quarmall" that Leiber write with Fischer. >> > >> > Anyway, in that story, the Mouser is described as being "dressed all >> > in gray, like Death's younger brother". >> > >> > I always found that to be a really resonant image, and wanted to do >> > something with it. I loved the idea of Death having siblings, >> > especially a younger brother. I imagined him desperately wanting to >> > be like big brother Death, but never able to get the same level of >> > approval, whether from parents, or the world, or what. Classic teen >> > angst, except that it would be, you know, /Death's/ younger >> brother. :) >> > That seemed like rich territory to mine, but I couldn't make it work >> > as a short story. Maybe some day. >> > >> > So I figured I try some poetry -- imagery rich, but shorter. >> > Disclosure: I am not a huge fan of poetry in general, and certainly >> > don;t write it on a regular basis. >> > >> > I like the idea of doing something constrained by structure, so I >> > essayed a sestina. >> > >> > Here it is. >> > >> > Adam >> > -- >> > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" >> > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" >> > >> > "Hired Steel For the Lord of Quarmall" >> > >> > >> > Ever since I can remember, my heart has been black >> > Racked with hatred for the first object of my parent's love. >> > He was firstborn, marvelous offspring, my perfect brother >> > Their love, cataclysmic, unlooked for, gave him life >> > There, in the beginning, when time' s dawn was still gray. >> > Gave him pride of place, then when he grew, responsibility. >> > >> > My father, wild and unpredictable, could not conceive of >> responsibility >> > Yet ultimately lays claim to all things, resorbing them to >> fuligin black >> > Imagine his surprise when my mother's light turned his darkness gray >> > Maybe opposites attracted, maybe there was no one else to love >> > However they came to fuse, their violent union created life >> > Cruel irony, then, that their eldest progeny was my brother >> > >> > All my life, I have had to live in the shadow of my brother >> > As soon as he appeared, he assumed--nay, usurped!--responsibility >> > Was given, or took, the final prerogative, held in his cold >> hands our >> > life. >> > He takes after our father, and so over every other color chose black >> > I, born later--an accident?--strive so hard to earn my parent's' >> love >> > Their feelings for him unequivocal, for me, changing shades of gray >> > >> > By my arrival, my parents' black and white had become muted gray >> > For so long, I was still am) afraid, and jealous, of my brother >> > I don't know if what he feels towards me is (could it be?) love >> > I do know that I've always craved my own fell responsibility >> > But when I first tried to carve my niche, my despair was black >> > He'd already established jurisdiction over what mattered in life >> > >> > I took for my own, therefore, the middle, not the end, of life. >> > Became the one who seeks to make things bleak and gray. >> > There are more colors in pain's spectrum than the finality of black. >> > Even there, though, I feel I'm a lesser shadow of my brother. >> > Despite my best efforts, he retains the... /ultimate/ >> responsibility. >> > In dire straits, some are ripped from my grasp and given to him, out >> > of love. >> > >> > I suppose I too, am ultimately motivated by a desire for love. >> > It is with reaction, instead of creation, that I have defined my >> life. >> > I dream of importance, of one day wielding genuine responsibility. >> > Alas, that will not come until after all is old and gray. >> > I would assume his role, by inheritance, if something befell my >> brother >> > But he'll meet no assailant darker than his own black. >> > >> > I long for my own responsibility, am desperate for my parents' love >> > But my future seems all black, and so I continue to live my life >> > Two steps behind, dressed all in gray, Death's younger brother. >> > >> > >> ------------------------------------------------------------------------ >> > >> > _______________________________________________ >> > Writingworkshop mailing list >> > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com >> >> > >> http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com >> > >> >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Writingworkshop mailing list >> Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com >> >> http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com >> >> >> >> >> -- >> "Have you seen the snow leopard?" >> "No! Isn't that wonderful?" >> ------------------------------------------------------------------------ >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Writingworkshop mailing list >> Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com >> http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com >> >> > > > From adam.holland at gmail.com Sun Jan 27 11:48:50 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 19:48:50 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] The Challenge of the Villanelle In-Reply-To: <479BD082.7010907@mit.edu> References: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> <479BCE56.1050404@nealemorison.com> <479BD082.7010907@mit.edu> Message-ID: Outstanding! I loved it. I was getting kind of a Poe feeling. AH On Jan 26, 2008 7:29 PM, Samantha Weiss wrote: > I must say that I cracked up reading this. Thanks for this, Neale. I > share your sentiment. There is no poetry form I hate writing more than > the villanelle. > > To meet the challenge of the Villanelle, > > We make restriction that we may be free, > > A villainous poetic form from hell. > > > > Two rhymes, no more, are needed; just as well, > > If that were all, how easy it would be, > > To meet the challenge of the Villanelle. > > > > But two refrains, as near as I can tell, > > Are drawn from tercet one, lines one and three, > > A villainous poetic form from hell. > > > > Five tercets, a quattrain, and there's the bell, > > The fight is over with a victory, > > To meet the challenge of the Villanelle. > > > > Alas, each tercet, though, you have to sell, > > With one refrain at its extremity, > > A villainous poetic form from hell. > > > > And then to make the final quattrain gel, > > You bring back both refrains and claim your fee, > > To meet the challenge of the Villanelle, > > A villainous poetic form from hell. > > > > > > > > Adam Holland wrote: > > > >> For more complexity, perhaps a villanelle? > >> > >> > >> Or maybe some of these . > >> > >> Thank very much for the kind words. > >> > >> Adam > >> > >> On Jan 26, 2008 12:59 PM, Neale Morison >> > wrote: > >> > >> Wow! I have to confess I didn't know what a sestina was, but > wikipedia > >> came through. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sestina > >> Maybe there are forms with a more complicated set of rules, but I > >> haven't come across them. > >> This is lovely, Adam. Excellent choice of ending words. Death's > >> younger > >> brother is a great premise. There's allegory and myth here. The > >> younger > >> brother's calling is not so much death as despair, which he feels > >> himself and radiates to all. He handles the lesser colors in pain's > >> spectrum. A particularly bleak thought, if I may say so. > >> Thanks for posting this, > >> Neale > >> > >> > >> Adam Holland wrote: > >> > Neale's inspiring prolificness made me feel like I should post > >> > something, even though I wrote it a while ago. :) > >> > > >> > If any of you are Fritz Leiber fans, (and if you're not, you > should > >> > be!) you may remember a longer story of Fafhrd and the Gray > Mouser > >> > titled "Th Lords of Quarmall" that Leiber write with Fischer. > >> > > >> > Anyway, in that story, the Mouser is described as being "dressed > all > >> > in gray, like Death's younger brother". > >> > > >> > I always found that to be a really resonant image, and wanted to > do > >> > something with it. I loved the idea of Death having siblings, > >> > especially a younger brother. I imagined him desperately wanting > to > >> > be like big brother Death, but never able to get the same level > of > >> > approval, whether from parents, or the world, or what. Classic > teen > >> > angst, except that it would be, you know, /Death's/ younger > >> brother. :) > >> > That seemed like rich territory to mine, but I couldn't make it > work > >> > as a short story. Maybe some day. > >> > > >> > So I figured I try some poetry -- imagery rich, but shorter. > >> > Disclosure: I am not a huge fan of poetry in general, and > certainly > >> > don;t write it on a regular basis. > >> > > >> > I like the idea of doing something constrained by structure, so I > >> > essayed a sestina. > >> > > >> > Here it is. > >> > > >> > Adam > >> > -- > >> > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > >> > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > >> > > >> > "Hired Steel For the Lord of Quarmall" > >> > > >> > > >> > Ever since I can remember, my heart has been black > >> > Racked with hatred for the first object of my parent's love. > >> > He was firstborn, marvelous offspring, my perfect brother > >> > Their love, cataclysmic, unlooked for, gave him life > >> > There, in the beginning, when time' s dawn was still gray. > >> > Gave him pride of place, then when he grew, responsibility. > >> > > >> > My father, wild and unpredictable, could not conceive of > >> responsibility > >> > Yet ultimately lays claim to all things, resorbing them to > >> fuligin black > >> > Imagine his surprise when my mother's light turned his darkness > gray > >> > Maybe opposites attracted, maybe there was no one else to love > >> > However they came to fuse, their violent union created life > >> > Cruel irony, then, that their eldest progeny was my brother > >> > > >> > All my life, I have had to live in the shadow of my brother > >> > As soon as he appeared, he assumed--nay, usurped!--responsibility > >> > Was given, or took, the final prerogative, held in his cold > >> hands our > >> > life. > >> > He takes after our father, and so over every other color chose > black > >> > I, born later--an accident?--strive so hard to earn my parent's' > >> love > >> > Their feelings for him unequivocal, for me, changing shades of > gray > >> > > >> > By my arrival, my parents' black and white had become muted gray > >> > For so long, I was still am) afraid, and jealous, of my brother > >> > I don't know if what he feels towards me is (could it be?) love > >> > I do know that I've always craved my own fell responsibility > >> > But when I first tried to carve my niche, my despair was black > >> > He'd already established jurisdiction over what mattered in life > >> > > >> > I took for my own, therefore, the middle, not the end, of life. > >> > Became the one who seeks to make things bleak and gray. > >> > There are more colors in pain's spectrum than the finality of > black. > >> > Even there, though, I feel I'm a lesser shadow of my brother. > >> > Despite my best efforts, he retains the... /ultimate/ > >> responsibility. > >> > In dire straits, some are ripped from my grasp and given to him, > out > >> > of love. > >> > > >> > I suppose I too, am ultimately motivated by a desire for love. > >> > It is with reaction, instead of creation, that I have defined my > >> life. > >> > I dream of importance, of one day wielding genuine > responsibility. > >> > Alas, that will not come until after all is old and gray. > >> > I would assume his role, by inheritance, if something befell my > >> brother > >> > But he'll meet no assailant darker than his own black. > >> > > >> > I long for my own responsibility, am desperate for my parents' > love > >> > But my future seems all black, and so I continue to live my life > >> > Two steps behind, dressed all in gray, Death's younger brother. > >> > > >> > > >> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > >> > > >> > _______________________________________________ > >> > Writingworkshop mailing list > >> > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > >> > >> > > >> > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > >> > > >> > >> > >> _______________________________________________ > >> Writingworkshop mailing list > >> Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > >> > >> > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> -- > >> "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > >> "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > >> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > >> > >> _______________________________________________ > >> Writingworkshop mailing list > >> Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > >> > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > >> > >> > > > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080126/f8d19503/attachment-0001.html From neale at nealemorison.com Sun Jan 27 12:52:17 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 20:52:17 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] The Challenge of the Villanelle In-Reply-To: <479BD082.7010907@mit.edu> References: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> <479BCE56.1050404@nealemorison.com> <479BD082.7010907@mit.edu> Message-ID: <479BE3D1.1040007@nealemorison.com> Thanks for the responses, Sam and Adam, and thanks Adam for pointing out that there are other forms out there. Check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Poetic_form It's going to take a while to work through this. -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From adam.holland at gmail.com Sun Jan 27 13:06:47 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 21:06:47 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] The Challenge of the Villanelle In-Reply-To: <479BE3D1.1040007@nealemorison.com> References: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> <479BCE56.1050404@nealemorison.com> <479BD082.7010907@mit.edu> <479BE3D1.1040007@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: maybe we can use an ongoing thread on this workshop to do a sort of distance renga, which I didn't see on that list. I've always wanted to do collaborative poetry. It's funny how something like haiku derive from a form that shares a great deal with the "dozens" of American urban origin, to say nothing of other "combat" verse interactions that could be fun, especially if we do not hold to an arbitrary length Adam On Jan 26, 2008 8:52 PM, Neale Morison wrote: > Thanks for the responses, Sam and Adam, and thanks Adam for pointing out > that there are other forms out there. Check this out: > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Poetic_form > > It's going to take a while to work through this. > > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080126/7cce4cc4/attachment.html From neale at nealemorison.com Sun Jan 27 13:21:54 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 21:21:54 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] The Challenge of the Villanelle In-Reply-To: References: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> <479BCE56.1050404@nealemorison.com> <479BD082.7010907@mit.edu> <479BE3D1.1040007@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <479BEAC2.4050704@nealemorison.com> I would love to do that. I'm going to take a while to absorb the information on the renga, but I would be very happy if you could give us a few pointers and kick us off. Feel free to set the rules. Neale Adam Holland wrote: > maybe we can use an ongoing thread on this workshop to do a sort of > distance renga, which I didn't > see on that list. > > I've always wanted to do collaborative poetry. It's funny how > something like haiku derive from a form that shares a great deal with > the "dozens" of American urban origin, to say nothing of other > "combat" verse interactions > > that could be fun, especially if we do not hold to an arbitrary length > > Adam > > On Jan 26, 2008 8:52 PM, Neale Morison > wrote: > > Thanks for the responses, Sam and Adam, and thanks Adam for > pointing out > that there are other forms out there. Check this out: > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Poetic_form > > It's going to take a while to work through this. > > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > -- > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From adam.holland at gmail.com Sun Jan 27 13:55:38 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 21:55:38 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] The Challenge of the Villanelle In-Reply-To: <479BEAC2.4050704@nealemorison.com> References: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> <479BCE56.1050404@nealemorison.com> <479BD082.7010907@mit.edu> <479BE3D1.1040007@nealemorison.com> <479BEAC2.4050704@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: Holy crap, Neale, I don't know the rules! :) I need to absorb it too. I've only ever heard it described. All that I know is that you need a group of people, and a theme. Someone starts, and creates a short poem which has to conform to some formula (I don;t know what that is) then the next person creates another poem, also patterned somehow, thematically linked to the first, and acknowledging it textually, and so on. AH On Jan 26, 2008 9:21 PM, Neale Morison wrote: > I would love to do that. I'm going to take a while to absorb the > information on the renga, but I would be very happy if you could give us > a few pointers and kick us off. Feel free to set the rules. > Neale > > Adam Holland wrote: > > maybe we can use an ongoing thread on this workshop to do a sort of > > distance renga, which I didn't > > see on that list. > > > > I've always wanted to do collaborative poetry. It's funny how > > something like haiku derive from a form that shares a great deal with > > the "dozens" of American urban origin, to say nothing of other > > "combat" verse interactions > > > > that could be fun, especially if we do not hold to an arbitrary length > > > > Adam > > > > On Jan 26, 2008 8:52 PM, Neale Morison > > wrote: > > > > Thanks for the responses, Sam and Adam, and thanks Adam for > > pointing out > > that there are other forms out there. Check this out: > > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Poetic_form > > > > It's going to take a while to work through this. > > > > > > -- > > Neale Morison > > neale at nealemorison.com > > http://www.nealemorison.com > > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > > +1 617 460 9969 > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Writingworkshop mailing list > > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > > > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > > > > > > -- > > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Writingworkshop mailing list > > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080126/bc7e2950/attachment.html From nmorison at MIT.EDU Sun Jan 27 13:55:20 2008 From: nmorison at MIT.EDU (Neale Morison) Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 21:55:20 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] The Challenge of the Villanelle In-Reply-To: References: <479B750A.1030505@mit.edu> <479BCE56.1050404@nealemorison.com> <479BD082.7010907@mit.edu> <479BE3D1.1040007@nealemorison.com> <479BEAC2.4050704@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <479BF298.2070101@mit.edu> OK. Work in progress. Let's figure this out. Adam Holland wrote: > Holy crap, Neale, I don't know the rules! :) > I need to absorb it too. > > I've only ever heard it described. > All that I know is that you need a group of people, and a theme. > Someone starts, and creates a short poem which has to conform to some > formula (I don;t know what that is) then the next person creates > another poem, also patterned somehow, thematically linked to the > first, and acknowledging it textually, and so on. > > > AH > > On Jan 26, 2008 9:21 PM, Neale Morison > wrote: > > I would love to do that. I'm going to take a while to absorb the > information on the renga, but I would be very happy if you could > give us > a few pointers and kick us off. Feel free to set the rules. > Neale > > Adam Holland wrote: > > maybe we can use an ongoing thread on this workshop to do a sort of > > distance renga, which I didn't > > see on that list. > > > > I've always wanted to do collaborative poetry. It's funny how > > something like haiku derive from a form that shares a great deal > with > > the "dozens" of American urban origin, to say nothing of other > > "combat" verse interactions > > > > that could be fun, especially if we do not hold to an arbitrary > length > > > > Adam > > > > On Jan 26, 2008 8:52 PM, Neale Morison > > >> > wrote: > > > > Thanks for the responses, Sam and Adam, and thanks Adam for > > pointing out > > that there are other forms out there. Check this out: > > http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Poetic_form > > > > It's going to take a while to work through this. > > > > > > -- > > Neale Morison > > neale at nealemorison.com > > > > http://www.nealemorison.com > > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > > +1 617 460 9969 > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Writingworkshop mailing list > > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > > > > > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > > > > > > -- > > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Writingworkshop mailing list > > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > -- > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > From neale at nealemorison.com Tue Jan 29 02:51:03 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:51:03 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Almost too easy Message-ID: <479DF9E7.2050702@nealemorison.com> Pure information, Full accessibility, True intelligence. Functionality, Robust scalability, Industrial strength, Terabyte storage, Unlimited transactions, Fast and accurate. Instantaneous, Parallel execution, Zero latency. Military strength Unbreakable encryption, Totally secure. Easy maintenance, Nothing proprietary, Industry standard. Simple interface, Completely integrated, Hides complexity. Hierarchical Application Programming Interface, O-O. It's a no brainer, Discount for bulk licenses, Almost too easy. -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From cjrobi at MIT.EDU Tue Jan 29 02:58:00 2008 From: cjrobi at MIT.EDU (Christopher Robichaud) Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:58:00 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Almost too easy In-Reply-To: <479DF9E7.2050702@nealemorison.com> References: <479DF9E7.2050702@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <001601c861c6$8fddb630$0d00a8c0@cjrobichaud> Hey all! Just amazing stuff that's been sent the past few days! Sorry I've been out of the loop; I've been decompressing after presenting a philosophy paper at an MIT conference. Neale--I'll send comments on the latest draft of your story this week. I'm not yet ready to plunge into poetry construction or criticism, but in the next few weeks, expect stories from me! -Chris -----Original Message----- From: writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com [mailto:writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com] On Behalf Of Neale Morison Sent: Monday, January 28, 2008 10:51 AM To: writingworkshop at nealemorison.com Subject: [Writingworkshop] Almost too easy Pure information, Full accessibility, True intelligence. Functionality, Robust scalability, Industrial strength, Terabyte storage, Unlimited transactions, Fast and accurate. Instantaneous, Parallel execution, Zero latency. Military strength Unbreakable encryption, Totally secure. Easy maintenance, Nothing proprietary, Industry standard. Simple interface, Completely integrated, Hides complexity. Hierarchical Application Programming Interface, O-O. It's a no brainer, Discount for bulk licenses, Almost too easy. -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 _______________________________________________ Writingworkshop mailing list Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com From adam.holland at gmail.com Tue Jan 29 02:58:42 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:58:42 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Almost too easy In-Reply-To: <479DF9E7.2050702@nealemorison.com> References: <479DF9E7.2050702@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: It's...people? On Jan 28, 2008 10:51 AM, Neale Morison wrote: > Pure information, > Full accessibility, > True intelligence. > > Functionality, > Robust scalability, > Industrial strength, > > Terabyte storage, > Unlimited transactions, > Fast and accurate. > > Instantaneous, > Parallel execution, > Zero latency. > > Military strength > Unbreakable encryption, > Totally secure. > > Easy maintenance, > Nothing proprietary, > Industry standard. > > Simple interface, > Completely integrated, > Hides complexity. > > Hierarchical > Application Programming > Interface, O-O. > > It's a no brainer, > Discount for bulk licenses, > Almost too easy. > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080128/fd7d9779/attachment.html From cjrobi at MIT.EDU Tue Jan 29 02:59:23 2008 From: cjrobi at MIT.EDU (Christopher Robichaud) Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:59:23 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Almost too easy In-Reply-To: <479DF9E7.2050702@nealemorison.com> References: <479DF9E7.2050702@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <001701c861c6$c06a7400$0d00a8c0@cjrobichaud> p.s. I'm sure you all probably know this already, but just in case not: OPERATION HOMECOMING: WRITING THE WARTIME EXPERIENCE, the movie Joe was involved with, has been nominated by the Academy for Best Doc. Pretty cool! -----Original Message----- From: writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com [mailto:writingworkshop-bounces at nealemorison.com] On Behalf Of Neale Morison Sent: Monday, January 28, 2008 10:51 AM To: writingworkshop at nealemorison.com Subject: [Writingworkshop] Almost too easy Pure information, Full accessibility, True intelligence. Functionality, Robust scalability, Industrial strength, Terabyte storage, Unlimited transactions, Fast and accurate. Instantaneous, Parallel execution, Zero latency. Military strength Unbreakable encryption, Totally secure. Easy maintenance, Nothing proprietary, Industry standard. Simple interface, Completely integrated, Hides complexity. Hierarchical Application Programming Interface, O-O. It's a no brainer, Discount for bulk licenses, Almost too easy. -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 _______________________________________________ Writingworkshop mailing list Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com From neale at nealemorison.com Tue Jan 29 02:58:01 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:58:01 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Almost too easy In-Reply-To: References: <479DF9E7.2050702@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <479DFB89.6000006@nealemorison.com> You're thinking of Soylent Green. Adam Holland wrote: > It's...people? > > On Jan 28, 2008 10:51 AM, Neale Morison > wrote: > > Pure information, > Full accessibility, > True intelligence. > > Functionality, > Robust scalability, > Industrial strength, > > Terabyte storage, > Unlimited transactions, > Fast and accurate. > > Instantaneous, > Parallel execution, > Zero latency. > > Military strength > Unbreakable encryption, > Totally secure. > > Easy maintenance, > Nothing proprietary, > Industry standard. > > Simple interface, > Completely integrated, > Hides complexity. > > Hierarchical > Application Programming > Interface, O-O. > > It's a no brainer, > Discount for bulk licenses, > Almost too easy. > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > -- > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From neale at nealemorison.com Wed Jan 30 01:46:08 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Tue, 29 Jan 2008 09:46:08 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Almost Too Easy Draft 2 Message-ID: <479F3C30.10809@nealemorison.com> Draft 2 - Adam's note considered Almost Too Easy Pure information, Randomly accessible, True intelligence. Zero latency, Parallel execution, Minimum delay. Rack mounting, hot plug, Robust scalability, Self replicating. High fault tolerance, Multiple redundancy, Parts replaceable. Military strength Unbreakable encryption, Through obfuscation Industry standard, Nothing proprietary, Easy maintenance. Simple interface, Completely integrated, Hides complexity. Power consumption Totally negligible Runs on a promise. Sleekly attractive, Variety of colors, Individual. It's a no brainer, Discount for bulk purchases, Almost too easy. -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From adam.holland at gmail.com Wed Jan 30 02:18:56 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Tue, 29 Jan 2008 10:18:56 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Almost Too Easy Draft 2 In-Reply-To: <479F3C30.10809@nealemorison.com> References: <479F3C30.10809@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: Well done! I like them both a lot. there's a pleasant rhythm to the sounds themselves.. I always prefer poetry that is pleasant to read out loud. AH On Jan 29, 2008 9:46 AM, Neale Morison wrote: > Draft 2 - Adam's note considered > > Almost Too Easy > > Pure information, > Randomly accessible, > True intelligence. > > Zero latency, > Parallel execution, > Minimum delay. > > Rack mounting, hot plug, > Robust scalability, > Self replicating. > > High fault tolerance, > Multiple redundancy, > Parts replaceable. > > Military strength > Unbreakable encryption, > Through obfuscation > > Industry standard, > Nothing proprietary, > Easy maintenance. > > Simple interface, > Completely integrated, > Hides complexity. > > Power consumption > Totally negligible > Runs on a promise. > > Sleekly attractive, > Variety of colors, > Individual. > > It's a no brainer, > Discount for bulk purchases, > Almost too easy. > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080129/de942470/attachment.html From neale at nealemorison.com Thu Jan 31 02:11:14 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 10:11:14 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Life Begins Message-ID: <47A09392.9040503@nealemorison.com> 2008-01-29 09:13 - 2008-01-30 10:02 Life Begins Life begins with a smack and a scream, and a clipboard signed and dated, And it's half way through the century and you'll thank our stars we waited, The fascists are gone and the commies are next and we're shooting for the moon, It's a beautiful chrome and nylon world that marches to our tune, Doctor Seuss and Doctor Spock, the oracle television, Technology dreaming a golden age where nothing escapes revision, A car and a lovely suburban home, a kitchen and a den, And a perfectly fabulous family room where life begins at ten. Life begins with consciousness, with burgeoning self-awareness, A luxurious love of a lost ideal and a fond belief in fairness, And the growing strength of a new-found voice and a sense that we're not alone, And a social network built from uncountable calls on a princess phone In sex and pharmaceuticals a powerful fascination, For all we know we can save the world with reckless experimentation, Our parents couldn't afford to try, but we'll make use of our plenty, And if we survive the overdose then life begins at twenty. Life begins with a job to do, or perhaps with a fall semester, And a pair of flairs and a polo neck in paisley polyester, And the right to speak and the right to vote and the right to fight and die, And if they don't do it the way we like, we give 'em a smack in the eye. This toppling of temples turns out easier than you think, Cathedrals burn with a cosy glow, leviathans simply sink, And there's nothing we cannot achieve if we're prepared to get down and dirty, And matters are spiralling into place as life begins at thirty. Life begins with parenthood, the birth of a screaming kid, And if you survive the first three months you'll thank your stars you did, A mortgage if you're fortunate, and failing that the rent, And you better get busy and pay the bills or you'll all end up in a tent, You realize how much you appreciate what when you were little you had, And that greed has been getting a hostile press; it's really not so bad, It's hard to be certain in retrospect just why at the time you were naughty, But you promise yourself to straighten up as life begins at forty. Life begins when you take the wheel, and pilot the ship of state, When its finally totally up to you to seize control of your fate, Your mother and father will pass away if they haven't gone before, And you better be sure what you wanted to say because now you have the floor. There's something about technology that's getting out of hand, The Internet and cellular phones are matters you understand, But all these collections of bits and bytes could end in the hands of the shifty, You're worried about security when life begins at fifty. Life begins with a shattering shock and smoke and screams and dying, And you wake to a world you never knew with a phobia for flying, And you watch in baffled bewilderment as the cynical build a career In jingoistic claptrap and the politics of fear. The glaciers are melting and the rivers are full of silt, You're leaving your kids with nothing at all, you're paralysed with guilt, And you struggle to find the strength amidst the grieving and the pain, To try to save what's left of the world and begin your life again, Life begins when you take your ease, at sixty, seventy, eighty, You'll be more than sufficiently occupied with matters not so weighty, You can join the choir, discover at last how pottery is made, And try to ignore the feeling that your welcome has been outstayed. Time to abandon our long careers as dancers and romancers, And tipple a tea at the kitchen bench and welcome our various cancers, A cardiorespiratory collapse may triumph over the tumours, But it's grab your socks in heaven and hell, room for the baby boomers. -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From adam.holland at gmail.com Thu Jan 31 03:00:41 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:00:41 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Life Begins In-Reply-To: <47A09392.9040503@nealemorison.com> References: <47A09392.9040503@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: nice work! Kipling-esque. On Jan 30, 2008 10:11 AM, Neale Morison wrote: > 2008-01-29 09:13 - 2008-01-30 10:02 > > Life Begins > > Life begins with a smack and a scream, and a clipboard signed and dated, > And it's half way through the century and you'll thank our stars we > waited, > The fascists are gone and the commies are next and we're shooting for > the moon, > It's a beautiful chrome and nylon world that marches to our tune, > > Doctor Seuss and Doctor Spock, the oracle television, > Technology dreaming a golden age where nothing escapes revision, > A car and a lovely suburban home, a kitchen and a den, > And a perfectly fabulous family room where life begins at ten. > > Life begins with consciousness, with burgeoning self-awareness, > A luxurious love of a lost ideal and a fond belief in fairness, > And the growing strength of a new-found voice and a sense that we're not > alone, > And a social network built from uncountable calls on a princess phone > > In sex and pharmaceuticals a powerful fascination, > For all we know we can save the world with reckless experimentation, > Our parents couldn't afford to try, but we'll make use of our plenty, > And if we survive the overdose then life begins at twenty. > > Life begins with a job to do, or perhaps with a fall semester, > And a pair of flairs and a polo neck in paisley polyester, > And the right to speak and the right to vote and the right to fight and > die, > And if they don't do it the way we like, we give 'em a smack in the eye. > > This toppling of temples turns out easier than you think, > Cathedrals burn with a cosy glow, leviathans simply sink, > And there's nothing we cannot achieve if we're prepared to get down and > dirty, > And matters are spiralling into place as life begins at thirty. > > Life begins with parenthood, the birth of a screaming kid, > And if you survive the first three months you'll thank your stars you did, > A mortgage if you're fortunate, and failing that the rent, > And you better get busy and pay the bills or you'll all end up in a tent, > > You realize how much you appreciate what when you were little you had, > And that greed has been getting a hostile press; it's really not so bad, > It's hard to be certain in retrospect just why at the time you were > naughty, > But you promise yourself to straighten up as life begins at forty. > > Life begins when you take the wheel, and pilot the ship of state, > When its finally totally up to you to seize control of your fate, > Your mother and father will pass away if they haven't gone before, > And you better be sure what you wanted to say because now you have the > floor. > > There's something about technology that's getting out of hand, > The Internet and cellular phones are matters you understand, > But all these collections of bits and bytes could end in the hands of > the shifty, > You're worried about security when life begins at fifty. > > Life begins with a shattering shock and smoke and screams and dying, > And you wake to a world you never knew with a phobia for flying, > And you watch in baffled bewilderment as the cynical build a career > In jingoistic claptrap and the politics of fear. > > The glaciers are melting and the rivers are full of silt, > You're leaving your kids with nothing at all, you're paralysed with guilt, > And you struggle to find the strength amidst the grieving and the pain, > To try to save what's left of the world and begin your life again, > > Life begins when you take your ease, at sixty, seventy, eighty, > You'll be more than sufficiently occupied with matters not so weighty, > You can join the choir, discover at last how pottery is made, > And try to ignore the feeling that your welcome has been outstayed. > > Time to abandon our long careers as dancers and romancers, > And tipple a tea at the kitchen bench and welcome our various cancers, > A cardiorespiratory collapse may triumph over the tumours, > But it's grab your socks in heaven and hell, room for the baby boomers. > > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080130/165c897c/attachment.html From mjabas at mit.edu Thu Jan 31 03:10:47 2008 From: mjabas at mit.edu (Molly Jabas) Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:10:47 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Life Begins In-Reply-To: <47A09392.9040503@nealemorison.com> References: <47A09392.9040503@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: I really, really liked this one. There's also a song called "100 years" by Five For Fighting that goes along the same idea... I normally don't read or write a lot of poetry, but I'm getting a fair share of the former on this list and it really is a pleasure. Thanks for writing! Molly On Jan 30, 2008 10:11 AM, Neale Morison wrote: > 2008-01-29 09:13 - 2008-01-30 10:02 > > Life Begins > > Life begins with a smack and a scream, and a clipboard signed and dated, > And it's half way through the century and you'll thank our stars we > waited, > The fascists are gone and the commies are next and we're shooting for > the moon, > It's a beautiful chrome and nylon world that marches to our tune, > > Doctor Seuss and Doctor Spock, the oracle television, > Technology dreaming a golden age where nothing escapes revision, > A car and a lovely suburban home, a kitchen and a den, > And a perfectly fabulous family room where life begins at ten. > > Life begins with consciousness, with burgeoning self-awareness, > A luxurious love of a lost ideal and a fond belief in fairness, > And the growing strength of a new-found voice and a sense that we're not > alone, > And a social network built from uncountable calls on a princess phone > > In sex and pharmaceuticals a powerful fascination, > For all we know we can save the world with reckless experimentation, > Our parents couldn't afford to try, but we'll make use of our plenty, > And if we survive the overdose then life begins at twenty. > > Life begins with a job to do, or perhaps with a fall semester, > And a pair of flairs and a polo neck in paisley polyester, > And the right to speak and the right to vote and the right to fight and > die, > And if they don't do it the way we like, we give 'em a smack in the eye. > > This toppling of temples turns out easier than you think, > Cathedrals burn with a cosy glow, leviathans simply sink, > And there's nothing we cannot achieve if we're prepared to get down and > dirty, > And matters are spiralling into place as life begins at thirty. > > Life begins with parenthood, the birth of a screaming kid, > And if you survive the first three months you'll thank your stars you did, > A mortgage if you're fortunate, and failing that the rent, > And you better get busy and pay the bills or you'll all end up in a tent, > > You realize how much you appreciate what when you were little you had, > And that greed has been getting a hostile press; it's really not so bad, > It's hard to be certain in retrospect just why at the time you were > naughty, > But you promise yourself to straighten up as life begins at forty. > > Life begins when you take the wheel, and pilot the ship of state, > When its finally totally up to you to seize control of your fate, > Your mother and father will pass away if they haven't gone before, > And you better be sure what you wanted to say because now you have the > floor. > > There's something about technology that's getting out of hand, > The Internet and cellular phones are matters you understand, > But all these collections of bits and bytes could end in the hands of > the shifty, > You're worried about security when life begins at fifty. > > Life begins with a shattering shock and smoke and screams and dying, > And you wake to a world you never knew with a phobia for flying, > And you watch in baffled bewilderment as the cynical build a career > In jingoistic claptrap and the politics of fear. > > The glaciers are melting and the rivers are full of silt, > You're leaving your kids with nothing at all, you're paralysed with guilt, > And you struggle to find the strength amidst the grieving and the pain, > To try to save what's left of the world and begin your life again, > > Life begins when you take your ease, at sixty, seventy, eighty, > You'll be more than sufficiently occupied with matters not so weighty, > You can join the choir, discover at last how pottery is made, > And try to ignore the feeling that your welcome has been outstayed. > > Time to abandon our long careers as dancers and romancers, > And tipple a tea at the kitchen bench and welcome our various cancers, > A cardiorespiratory collapse may triumph over the tumours, > But it's grab your socks in heaven and hell, room for the baby boomers. > > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080130/56f1d52e/attachment-0001.html From adam.holland at gmail.com Thu Jan 31 03:12:48 2008 From: adam.holland at gmail.com (Adam Holland) Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:12:48 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Life Begins In-Reply-To: References: <47A09392.9040503@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: I was also very impressed by your recollection (or perhaps research) of zeitgeist detail, and the choices you made in terms of which iconic details to choose as representative. On Jan 30, 2008 11:00 AM, Adam Holland wrote: > nice work! > Kipling-esque. > > > On Jan 30, 2008 10:11 AM, Neale Morison wrote: > > > 2008-01-29 09:13 - 2008-01-30 10:02 > > > > Life Begins > > > > Life begins with a smack and a scream, and a clipboard signed and dated, > > And it's half way through the century and you'll thank our stars we > > waited, > > The fascists are gone and the commies are next and we're shooting for > > the moon, > > It's a beautiful chrome and nylon world that marches to our tune, > > > > Doctor Seuss and Doctor Spock, the oracle television, > > Technology dreaming a golden age where nothing escapes revision, > > A car and a lovely suburban home, a kitchen and a den, > > And a perfectly fabulous family room where life begins at ten. > > > > Life begins with consciousness, with burgeoning self-awareness, > > A luxurious love of a lost ideal and a fond belief in fairness, > > And the growing strength of a new-found voice and a sense that we're not > > alone, > > And a social network built from uncountable calls on a princess phone > > > > In sex and pharmaceuticals a powerful fascination, > > For all we know we can save the world with reckless experimentation, > > Our parents couldn't afford to try, but we'll make use of our plenty, > > And if we survive the overdose then life begins at twenty. > > > > Life begins with a job to do, or perhaps with a fall semester, > > And a pair of flairs and a polo neck in paisley polyester, > > And the right to speak and the right to vote and the right to fight and > > die, > > And if they don't do it the way we like, we give 'em a smack in the eye. > > > > This toppling of temples turns out easier than you think, > > Cathedrals burn with a cosy glow, leviathans simply sink, > > And there's nothing we cannot achieve if we're prepared to get down and > > dirty, > > And matters are spiralling into place as life begins at thirty. > > > > Life begins with parenthood, the birth of a screaming kid, > > And if you survive the first three months you'll thank your stars you > > did, > > A mortgage if you're fortunate, and failing that the rent, > > And you better get busy and pay the bills or you'll all end up in a > > tent, > > > > You realize how much you appreciate what when you were little you had, > > And that greed has been getting a hostile press; it's really not so bad, > > It's hard to be certain in retrospect just why at the time you were > > naughty, > > But you promise yourself to straighten up as life begins at forty. > > > > Life begins when you take the wheel, and pilot the ship of state, > > When its finally totally up to you to seize control of your fate, > > Your mother and father will pass away if they haven't gone before, > > And you better be sure what you wanted to say because now you have the > > floor. > > > > There's something about technology that's getting out of hand, > > The Internet and cellular phones are matters you understand, > > But all these collections of bits and bytes could end in the hands of > > the shifty, > > You're worried about security when life begins at fifty. > > > > Life begins with a shattering shock and smoke and screams and dying, > > And you wake to a world you never knew with a phobia for flying, > > And you watch in baffled bewilderment as the cynical build a career > > In jingoistic claptrap and the politics of fear. > > > > The glaciers are melting and the rivers are full of silt, > > You're leaving your kids with nothing at all, you're paralysed with > > guilt, > > And you struggle to find the strength amidst the grieving and the pain, > > To try to save what's left of the world and begin your life again, > > > > Life begins when you take your ease, at sixty, seventy, eighty, > > You'll be more than sufficiently occupied with matters not so weighty, > > You can join the choir, discover at last how pottery is made, > > And try to ignore the feeling that your welcome has been outstayed. > > > > Time to abandon our long careers as dancers and romancers, > > And tipple a tea at the kitchen bench and welcome our various cancers, > > A cardiorespiratory collapse may triumph over the tumours, > > But it's grab your socks in heaven and hell, room for the baby boomers. > > > > > > -- > > Neale Morison > > neale at nealemorison.com > > http://www.nealemorison.com > > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > > +1 617 460 9969 > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > Writingworkshop mailing list > > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > > -- > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -- "Have you seen the snow leopard?" "No! Isn't that wonderful?" -------------- next part -------------- An HTML attachment was scrubbed... URL: http://nealemorison.com/pipermail/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com/attachments/20080130/9c138278/attachment.html From danieltpeters at gmail.com Thu Jan 31 03:30:45 2008 From: danieltpeters at gmail.com (Daniel Peters) Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 10:30:45 -0600 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Life Begins In-Reply-To: <47A09392.9040503@nealemorison.com> References: <47A09392.9040503@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <9c8415cd0801300830u3b13583avc1b9a7f35e76d4fc@mail.gmail.com> Well done brother. I'm curious if that was an hour project or you spent more time on it? Awesome stuff. On 1/30/08, Neale Morison wrote: > 2008-01-29 09:13 - 2008-01-30 10:02 > > Life Begins > > Life begins with a smack and a scream, and a clipboard signed and dated, > And it's half way through the century and you'll thank our stars we waited, > The fascists are gone and the commies are next and we're shooting for > the moon, > It's a beautiful chrome and nylon world that marches to our tune, > > Doctor Seuss and Doctor Spock, the oracle television, > Technology dreaming a golden age where nothing escapes revision, > A car and a lovely suburban home, a kitchen and a den, > And a perfectly fabulous family room where life begins at ten. > > Life begins with consciousness, with burgeoning self-awareness, > A luxurious love of a lost ideal and a fond belief in fairness, > And the growing strength of a new-found voice and a sense that we're not > alone, > And a social network built from uncountable calls on a princess phone > > In sex and pharmaceuticals a powerful fascination, > For all we know we can save the world with reckless experimentation, > Our parents couldn't afford to try, but we'll make use of our plenty, > And if we survive the overdose then life begins at twenty. > > Life begins with a job to do, or perhaps with a fall semester, > And a pair of flairs and a polo neck in paisley polyester, > And the right to speak and the right to vote and the right to fight and die, > And if they don't do it the way we like, we give 'em a smack in the eye. > > This toppling of temples turns out easier than you think, > Cathedrals burn with a cosy glow, leviathans simply sink, > And there's nothing we cannot achieve if we're prepared to get down and > dirty, > And matters are spiralling into place as life begins at thirty. > > Life begins with parenthood, the birth of a screaming kid, > And if you survive the first three months you'll thank your stars you did, > A mortgage if you're fortunate, and failing that the rent, > And you better get busy and pay the bills or you'll all end up in a tent, > > You realize how much you appreciate what when you were little you had, > And that greed has been getting a hostile press; it's really not so bad, > It's hard to be certain in retrospect just why at the time you were naughty, > But you promise yourself to straighten up as life begins at forty. > > Life begins when you take the wheel, and pilot the ship of state, > When its finally totally up to you to seize control of your fate, > Your mother and father will pass away if they haven't gone before, > And you better be sure what you wanted to say because now you have the > floor. > > There's something about technology that's getting out of hand, > The Internet and cellular phones are matters you understand, > But all these collections of bits and bytes could end in the hands of > the shifty, > You're worried about security when life begins at fifty. > > Life begins with a shattering shock and smoke and screams and dying, > And you wake to a world you never knew with a phobia for flying, > And you watch in baffled bewilderment as the cynical build a career > In jingoistic claptrap and the politics of fear. > > The glaciers are melting and the rivers are full of silt, > You're leaving your kids with nothing at all, you're paralysed with guilt, > And you struggle to find the strength amidst the grieving and the pain, > To try to save what's left of the world and begin your life again, > > Life begins when you take your ease, at sixty, seventy, eighty, > You'll be more than sufficiently occupied with matters not so weighty, > You can join the choir, discover at last how pottery is made, > And try to ignore the feeling that your welcome has been outstayed. > > Time to abandon our long careers as dancers and romancers, > And tipple a tea at the kitchen bench and welcome our various cancers, > A cardiorespiratory collapse may triumph over the tumours, > But it's grab your socks in heaven and hell, room for the baby boomers. > > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > From neale at nealemorison.com Thu Jan 31 04:58:48 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:58:48 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Life Begins In-Reply-To: References: <47A09392.9040503@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <47A0BAD8.4030805@nealemorison.com> Thanks all. This was a roughly 12 hour job. It wouldn't let up on me so I had to finish it. The details are from memory. I think I finally threw out the polo neck. Molly Jabas wrote: > I really, really liked this one. There's also a song called "100 > years" by Five For Fighting that goes along the same idea... I > normally don't read or write a lot of poetry, but I'm getting a fair > share of the former on this list and it really is a pleasure. Thanks > for writing! > > Molly > > On Jan 30, 2008 10:11 AM, Neale Morison > wrote: > > 2008-01-29 09:13 - 2008-01-30 10:02 > > Life Begins > > Life begins with a smack and a scream, and a clipboard signed and > dated, > And it's half way through the century and you'll thank our stars > we waited, > The fascists are gone and the commies are next and we're shooting for > the moon, > It's a beautiful chrome and nylon world that marches to our tune, > > Doctor Seuss and Doctor Spock, the oracle television, > Technology dreaming a golden age where nothing escapes revision, > A car and a lovely suburban home, a kitchen and a den, > And a perfectly fabulous family room where life begins at ten. > > Life begins with consciousness, with burgeoning self-awareness, > A luxurious love of a lost ideal and a fond belief in fairness, > And the growing strength of a new-found voice and a sense that > we're not > alone, > And a social network built from uncountable calls on a princess phone > > In sex and pharmaceuticals a powerful fascination, > For all we know we can save the world with reckless experimentation, > Our parents couldn't afford to try, but we'll make use of our plenty, > And if we survive the overdose then life begins at twenty. > > Life begins with a job to do, or perhaps with a fall semester, > And a pair of flairs and a polo neck in paisley polyester, > And the right to speak and the right to vote and the right to > fight and die, > And if they don't do it the way we like, we give 'em a smack in > the eye. > > This toppling of temples turns out easier than you think, > Cathedrals burn with a cosy glow, leviathans simply sink, > And there's nothing we cannot achieve if we're prepared to get > down and > dirty, > And matters are spiralling into place as life begins at thirty. > > Life begins with parenthood, the birth of a screaming kid, > And if you survive the first three months you'll thank your stars > you did, > A mortgage if you're fortunate, and failing that the rent, > And you better get busy and pay the bills or you'll all end up in > a tent, > > You realize how much you appreciate what when you were little you had, > And that greed has been getting a hostile press; it's really not > so bad, > It's hard to be certain in retrospect just why at the time you > were naughty, > But you promise yourself to straighten up as life begins at forty. > > Life begins when you take the wheel, and pilot the ship of state, > When its finally totally up to you to seize control of your fate, > Your mother and father will pass away if they haven't gone before, > And you better be sure what you wanted to say because now you have the > floor. > > There's something about technology that's getting out of hand, > The Internet and cellular phones are matters you understand, > But all these collections of bits and bytes could end in the hands of > the shifty, > You're worried about security when life begins at fifty. > > Life begins with a shattering shock and smoke and screams and dying, > And you wake to a world you never knew with a phobia for flying, > And you watch in baffled bewilderment as the cynical build a career > In jingoistic claptrap and the politics of fear. > > The glaciers are melting and the rivers are full of silt, > You're leaving your kids with nothing at all, you're paralysed > with guilt, > And you struggle to find the strength amidst the grieving and the > pain, > To try to save what's left of the world and begin your life again, > > Life begins when you take your ease, at sixty, seventy, eighty, > You'll be more than sufficiently occupied with matters not so weighty, > You can join the choir, discover at last how pottery is made, > And try to ignore the feeling that your welcome has been outstayed. > > Time to abandon our long careers as dancers and romancers, > And tipple a tea at the kitchen bench and welcome our various cancers, > A cardiorespiratory collapse may triumph over the tumours, > But it's grab your socks in heaven and hell, room for the baby > boomers. > > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969 From neale at nealemorison.com Thu Jan 31 05:29:49 2008 From: neale at nealemorison.com (Neale Morison) Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 13:29:49 -0500 Subject: [Writingworkshop] Life Begins In-Reply-To: References: <47A09392.9040503@nealemorison.com> Message-ID: <47A0C21D.80007@nealemorison.com> I don't know. I've never kippled. Adam Holland wrote: > nice work! > Kipling-esque. > > On Jan 30, 2008 10:11 AM, Neale Morison > wrote: > > 2008-01-29 09:13 - 2008-01-30 10:02 > > Life Begins > > Life begins with a smack and a scream, and a clipboard signed and > dated, > And it's half way through the century and you'll thank our stars > we waited, > The fascists are gone and the commies are next and we're shooting for > the moon, > It's a beautiful chrome and nylon world that marches to our tune, > > Doctor Seuss and Doctor Spock, the oracle television, > Technology dreaming a golden age where nothing escapes revision, > A car and a lovely suburban home, a kitchen and a den, > And a perfectly fabulous family room where life begins at ten. > > Life begins with consciousness, with burgeoning self-awareness, > A luxurious love of a lost ideal and a fond belief in fairness, > And the growing strength of a new-found voice and a sense that > we're not > alone, > And a social network built from uncountable calls on a princess phone > > In sex and pharmaceuticals a powerful fascination, > For all we know we can save the world with reckless experimentation, > Our parents couldn't afford to try, but we'll make use of our plenty, > And if we survive the overdose then life begins at twenty. > > Life begins with a job to do, or perhaps with a fall semester, > And a pair of flairs and a polo neck in paisley polyester, > And the right to speak and the right to vote and the right to > fight and die, > And if they don't do it the way we like, we give 'em a smack in > the eye. > > This toppling of temples turns out easier than you think, > Cathedrals burn with a cosy glow, leviathans simply sink, > And there's nothing we cannot achieve if we're prepared to get > down and > dirty, > And matters are spiralling into place as life begins at thirty. > > Life begins with parenthood, the birth of a screaming kid, > And if you survive the first three months you'll thank your stars > you did, > A mortgage if you're fortunate, and failing that the rent, > And you better get busy and pay the bills or you'll all end up in > a tent, > > You realize how much you appreciate what when you were little you had, > And that greed has been getting a hostile press; it's really not > so bad, > It's hard to be certain in retrospect just why at the time you > were naughty, > But you promise yourself to straighten up as life begins at forty. > > Life begins when you take the wheel, and pilot the ship of state, > When its finally totally up to you to seize control of your fate, > Your mother and father will pass away if they haven't gone before, > And you better be sure what you wanted to say because now you have the > floor. > > There's something about technology that's getting out of hand, > The Internet and cellular phones are matters you understand, > But all these collections of bits and bytes could end in the hands of > the shifty, > You're worried about security when life begins at fifty. > > Life begins with a shattering shock and smoke and screams and dying, > And you wake to a world you never knew with a phobia for flying, > And you watch in baffled bewilderment as the cynical build a career > In jingoistic claptrap and the politics of fear. > > The glaciers are melting and the rivers are full of silt, > You're leaving your kids with nothing at all, you're paralysed > with guilt, > And you struggle to find the strength amidst the grieving and the > pain, > To try to save what's left of the world and begin your life again, > > Life begins when you take your ease, at sixty, seventy, eighty, > You'll be more than sufficiently occupied with matters not so weighty, > You can join the choir, discover at last how pottery is made, > And try to ignore the feeling that your welcome has been outstayed. > > Time to abandon our long careers as dancers and romancers, > And tipple a tea at the kitchen bench and welcome our various cancers, > A cardiorespiratory collapse may triumph over the tumours, > But it's grab your socks in heaven and hell, room for the baby > boomers. > > > -- > Neale Morison > neale at nealemorison.com > http://www.nealemorison.com > 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 > +1 617 460 9969 > > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > > > > > -- > "Have you seen the snow leopard?" > "No! Isn't that wonderful?" > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Writingworkshop mailing list > Writingworkshop at nealemorison.com > http://nealemorison.com/mailman/listinfo/writingworkshop_nealemorison.com > -- Neale Morison neale at nealemorison.com http://www.nealemorison.com 31 Maple Ave #2, Cambridge MA 02139 +1 617 460 9969